BREATHING again...

just another ordinary boy.

Many nights ago, I heard my own heart beating
Sounded like footsteps on my stairs
Six months gone and I was still reaching
Even though I knew you were not there
I was playing back a thousand memories…
Thought about all the good and the bad
Maybe I was going back too much of the time
When I still had you

I can honestly say…

You were on my mind
I looked at your photo all the time
These memories came back to life
And I didn’t mind
Too many… like when we hugged & kissed
I felt your arms and lips on my skin
The time that we spoke for hours and never noticed that time passed !
and all the simple things at home, at the markets, at the theaters ect…
I remembered and I cried...
But the one thing I wanted to do is
the memories, I wanted to forget!

I did I did, goodbye... cause I’m finally not hearing my heart beating for YOU, no more.

P.S: it’s funny how when you finally get over someone, you start seeing them in a whole new perspective. It’s like you’re looking at them through the eyes of your best friend; & you realize; he’s nothing special. He’s just another ordinary boy.

SHOULD NOT matter

These names: Gay, queer, homosexual... those were words that frightened me, but no more!

Discovering i'm gay just sort of happened later in my late teen...being intimate with any woman never entered my mind, but i do believe that when you fall in love with somebody, you can't control that! and it does not matter or should not matters. It's a feeling, the feeling of wanted to love and be love; gay, straight or bi... we all human. period.

We all know how difficult it is to come out as openly gay, whether to family or other loved ones. Many sad stories, including the "Teens-suicide and the bullying" I wish these gay-teens able to live old enough so they can be strong enough to know and see it for themselves that nothing wrong with being gay. When I was 17, it wasn't easy for me throght out my High School years. I was so afraid of attending the gym class. My classmates would call me names like "faggat", "homo" and sometimes, they just pushed me as if i was their toy in the locker room... I remember the feeling- like i wanted to die cos i thought i was weird, no one like me and did not know what to do. However, the only one thing i knew was to promise myself to be strong and at least I need to finish and get my H.S diplomat so one day I am able to go to college, meet new friends and I did. I gratugrated high school, went to Community college, met many friends, smart, happy and open minded people who understand me. I, now working at a very successful diamonds company as a Gemologist. I am not a millionare but i am so proud of myself and I know my family too is very proud of me. I am so happy that I didn't chose the dead end road. I wish i can bring those innocent teens who killed themselves, I want to bring them back to where I was 17, as young as them and as scared as them. I want to show them that sometimes in life, we must give ourselves a chance, a chance to live...a chance to be who you are, be with those who understand you and it will gets better.

Nevertheless, these bullying need to STOP!!! We don't need to see another young innocent boy or girl broke into tears or perhalf to end his or her life for just being himself/herself. Together, we can do this, please, for all gay-teens out there, live happy and live OLD enough, be strong...It will gets BETTER.