BREATHING again...

just another ordinary boy.

Many nights ago, I heard my own heart beating
Sounded like footsteps on my stairs
Six months gone and I was still reaching
Even though I knew you were not there
I was playing back a thousand memories…
Thought about all the good and the bad
Maybe I was going back too much of the time
When I still had you

I can honestly say…

You were on my mind
I looked at your photo all the time
These memories came back to life
And I didn’t mind
Too many… like when we hugged & kissed
I felt your arms and lips on my skin
The time that we spoke for hours and never noticed that time passed !
and all the simple things at home, at the markets, at the theaters ect…
I remembered and I cried...
But the one thing I wanted to do is
the memories, I wanted to forget!

I did I did, goodbye... cause I’m finally not hearing my heart beating for YOU, no more.

P.S: it’s funny how when you finally get over someone, you start seeing them in a whole new perspective. It’s like you’re looking at them through the eyes of your best friend; & you realize; he’s nothing special. He’s just another ordinary boy.

SHOULD NOT matter

These names: Gay, queer, homosexual... those were words that frightened me, but no more!

Discovering i'm gay just sort of happened later in my late teen...being intimate with any woman never entered my mind, but i do believe that when you fall in love with somebody, you can't control that! and it does not matter or should not matters. It's a feeling, the feeling of wanted to love and be love; gay, straight or bi... we all human. period.

We all know how difficult it is to come out as openly gay, whether to family or other loved ones. Many sad stories, including the "Teens-suicide and the bullying" I wish these gay-teens able to live old enough so they can be strong enough to know and see it for themselves that nothing wrong with being gay. When I was 17, it wasn't easy for me throght out my High School years. I was so afraid of attending the gym class. My classmates would call me names like "faggat", "homo" and sometimes, they just pushed me as if i was their toy in the locker room... I remember the feeling- like i wanted to die cos i thought i was weird, no one like me and did not know what to do. However, the only one thing i knew was to promise myself to be strong and at least I need to finish and get my H.S diplomat so one day I am able to go to college, meet new friends and I did. I gratugrated high school, went to Community college, met many friends, smart, happy and open minded people who understand me. I, now working at a very successful diamonds company as a Gemologist. I am not a millionare but i am so proud of myself and I know my family too is very proud of me. I am so happy that I didn't chose the dead end road. I wish i can bring those innocent teens who killed themselves, I want to bring them back to where I was 17, as young as them and as scared as them. I want to show them that sometimes in life, we must give ourselves a chance, a chance to live...a chance to be who you are, be with those who understand you and it will gets better.

Nevertheless, these bullying need to STOP!!! We don't need to see another young innocent boy or girl broke into tears or perhalf to end his or her life for just being himself/herself. Together, we can do this, please, for all gay-teens out there, live happy and live OLD enough, be strong...It will gets BETTER.

Goodbye SummeR

Summer has always been considered to be the most romantic of the four seasons. the clear skies, the blazing sun, the gentle summer breeze, the lazy afternoons...and of course, the warm passionate love...

Goodbye summer, goodbye summer... the leaves fall and listen to the wind is rising and the air is wild with leaves...We have had ours summer evening, now for October eves!!!... I don't feel the "passionate warm" of summer any longer...could it be? could it be- because of the summer is over?

I speak and I speak...and my lips feel cold

Goodbye summer, Goodbye Summer...

I wish you were here

Miss you, my Summer Love

FAMILY

This morning, I woke up and wanted to write about my family.

No matter what happen in your life...whenever you look back at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses!
*I don't care how poor a Man is; if he has family, he's rich :)

To me, my family is everything to me. I love my parents. I love my sisters. I love my brothers. They are the greatest gifts I ever have and thanks GOD for giving me a house with full of the people I love love- AMEN.

-My Mom was the most amazing woman in my life.(mom passed away 10 yrs ago) she was my best friend and she was my beautiful lady. She taugh me so much, how to be a good person and and have the respect for others. I will never forget the things she said to me.
Here is once of her most memorial words... "whatever they grow up to be,they are still ours children and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything that all except that they are ours children"
I love you Mom!!!

-My father too is my best friend, my idol and "A MAN" of ours home. He's strong but yet he's also a very caring person I have ever met. He never one asked me or any of my sibbling for anything in return. The only thing he asked of us is to love ours mom. Nevertheless, the only thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother...and he did it really well. Until today, he never re-married and very happy to be arround his own family. PRAVO DAD, great job. I love you as much as I love mom.

*I can go on and on about my sisters and brother...but lets just say, they are my blood my soul and they mean the world to me. Without them, I will not be a person i am today. Thanks guys. thanks for took care of me and thanks for always being there.

I LOVE MY FAMILY.

CHANCES & CHANGES

Sometimes, you have to forgive and forget... cos every passing moment is a chance to to turn it all around, and to feel again...and yet, it's hard to take chances but it's better if you DO.
Tomorrow isn't a promise...it's a chance.

No matter who you are? or how strong you are... It's okay to get hurt because only then, you learn and you grow from it!
I, myself, I rather do something and find out that it was the wrong thing, than ever know if it was the right thing...
I have had been in-love. I loved him so much that I couldn't let him go...He was my love, my hate, my heartache, my everything; but at the end I did let him go...cos sometimes, on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one-
By saying that, I mean sometimes a person you thought you knew...start becoming the stranger you never wanted... but life must goes on.
All of the above, life is full of surprises...but you have to open them hoping for the very BEST.

Take care of yourself. Give yourself a chance and don't be afraid of a change...

Life

My formular for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night...and in between, I occupy myself as best as i can!

WHY?... cos as far as I concern, we will never be happy if we continue to search for what happines consists of and we will never live if we are looking for the meaning of life....nonetheless, I know what things are good in my life: friendship, work and conversation. these I shall have. :)

However, in life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and of course, a unforgettable LOVE.

...To succeed in life, we must need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone...

*In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:

"Life goes on"

Summer Days

When you see lot of flip flops, lemonades, bathing suites and ice creams...yupp, the summer is here...

Yet, summer is hot... yet, summer is lovely and yet, Summer is very sexy...

As much as i love New York City, I also love to go to places where i can find lot n lots of palm trees and clear blue water. Miami is one of my favorite cities. I used to flied down there every summer for about 3-4 days. Miami is a fun city. I love getting myself tan(dark) while swimming in the deep blue ocean of South Florida. When the night comes, I would head downtown and some other times would love hanging out on Lincoln Road. Along the lincoln Road, there's many shop, foods, theaters,and bars.(good ones)

However, this year, i'm thinking of visiting San Francisco in July for maybe a week with some of my very good friends.

...To be continue...

favorites

Sex Lies Gossip- VS -Funny Adventure Heroes

If

What If?

-I'm stop thinking of you?
-I meet someone else?
-We both move on?
-I run into you a year from today?
-We will never meet again?
-You ring my door bell tonight?
-The break-up was the wrong choice we both made?
-I haven't met you yet?
-You have moved in and lived with me?
-I still live in Woodside?
-We didn't break-up?
-I can never stop loving you?
-You read this post?
-You change your mind?
-I find myself missing you in the middle of movies?
-I want you by my side when I'm riding an early morning train back to Brooklyn?
-I don't see you @the restaurant where we used to go to?
-Everything is too late?...

...What If???

About me!

Hair color? Background? Habbit? Name? Gender? Race?

Let skip all those and put them somewhere safe...But, I am many things like a...

-Son
-Brother
-Lover
-Dreamer
-Loyal friend
-Poet
-Thinker
-Imperfect
-Artist
-Boyfriend
-Moody
-Romantic
-Loving
-Open minded
-Searching
-Fearful
-Worrier
-Lonely
-Happy
-Impatient
-Misunderstood
-Understanding
-Scarred
-Hopeful

...But most of all, I AM A SURVIVOR...

BECOME

Let's see!

Growing up is fun and full of memories. I remember a place... a town... a house like a lot of houses... a yard I used to play as a child, and a street I walked to school every afternoon... , after all these years, I sill look back... with wonder WHAT IF OR HOW these things changed or stay the same as they were??
But at the end, we are all hold on to things that were and wonder what's to come???
...Time passes us by quickly, and then time to let go of what has been, and look ahead to what will be. Other days. New days. Days to come.
One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that? The answer is "just YOU" you have grown up. :)
My dad always says "Too many people, too many troubles with the world, Well I won't do no trouble" so, that's kind of reminding me everyday how to become and be a better person. And As we grow better, we will meet better people and for that, I like to define myself as a person who has grown up; but not growing old.

...More to come in life...

WISHES

*This special blog is for my lovely friends- Nicole, Chance, Glenn, Jimmy and Madi-Son...

I actually do believe that WE can learn new things at any time in our life if we're willing to be a beginners.
I will not say it's as easy as A B C...but If we actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to us; just remember, anything happens for a good reason; even in your"love life"

Sometimes, the place or situation may seem like the end but please do not forget,it's also the beginning of a new start because the world is round after all :)

Nevertheless, in my country, we do believe that New Years is consider a new beginning. We practice and enjoy the words of wisdom about New Years:-- We will open the book and its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves, any word or words that you wish for and wanted them to become yours reality... The book is called "The Opportunity".
Its first chapter begins on the first day of New Year Eve, and it continutes throught-out the 10th of the second week of febuary.
Many many people practiced and followed and many many wishes do come true. Sometimes, we gotta believe in what we wish for because when you really believe in something...it's like a motivation to push yourself to make it happen!!!
Don't give up, keep on fighting till you get there. Just like Oprah Winfrey once has said "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right"

*So to all my Darling, Let this up coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time.

Love you always,

OUT

I guess I've always known I was gay. I realize that it is something I always knew, sort of a silent understanding with myself, but life went on, and growing up I never made it a big issue. I felt different from a very early age...I didn't have feeling for girls other than close friends, but whenever I saw a cute guy, I would feel extremely attracted to them. I had always known that I liked men. I knew I liked their bodies. When I was 19, I saw Dima(Russian boy) for the first time, I saw him from across the room and I knew I like him a lot. I looked at his dark hair, green eyes wonderful 19 year old body (he was in my English class) and I knew. I felt like I could see through to his soul, that we could really feel each other. But at the end, we never talked about how I felt toward him. He was totally straight boy. I graduated and never saw him again...

I came out to my sisters about a week ago.They are all very supportive. My dad is sad because he thinks me being with a girl would be more beneficial, I haven't exactly said, but he knows. My mom passed away but i think she would be sad too because I don't think she wants people to know she has a gay son. They still love me, I am the same guy they raised, and I try to make them proud in other ways. I think that sometimes the hardest thing is to accept yourself, but once you do, it will make you happier. I remind myself everyday that it is not wrong to love another human being. God put us on this earth to love, we should be proud we can love just as strong as anyone else, if not stronger. Coming out to friends and family is a huge step. I feel it is good to make sure the timing is right. Even waiting til your out of the house and on your own, unless you feel it would be better for you to do it sooner. I just know that with me, coming out at the age that I did is lots better than in the last 10 years for many reasons.

Coming out is not an easy thing to do, but, it's way better than stay in the closet for the rest of yours life.... Keep your chin up! Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

xoxo

LETTING GO

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life...

BUT...

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves. However, there are times where you or that person has changed to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the relationship or friendship, so that each of you can fulfill your life path; and it might just reveal what you are truly capable of becoming. Nevertheless, I think Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. Some people may think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go. :)

*I personally agree that there are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.

*I also strongly think that when I'm letting go of the person whom i love very much, I never leave him /her behind, I take a part of them with me and leave a part of myself behind.

***Here are some inspiration from these letting go quotes!***

-Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.-- Oprah Winfrey

-The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions, the more likely there's gold in letting go of them.-- John Seely Brown

-When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.--
Lao Tzu

The WATER WORLD

What is A Mermaid?

I think every little girl's dream is to be a mermaid or to see a mermaid. [When I was younger] I would go to the beach and cover myself in the sand. People from different cultures and centuries have the same idea of what mermaids are ... so that's maybe a cool thing to think about.

*Is it REAL?

A mermaid is a legendary aquatic creature with the head and torso of human female and the tail of a fish. The male version of a mermaid is called a merman; the gender-neutral plural is merfolk. Various cultures throughout the world have similar figures. Much like Sirens, mermaids in stories would sometimes sing to sailors and enchant them, distracting them from their work and causing them to walk off the deck or cause shipwrecks. Other stories would have them squeeze the life out of drowning men while trying to rescue them. They are also said to take them down to their underwater kingdoms. In Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid it is said that they forget that humans cannot breathe underwater, while others say they drown men out of spite.

BABY BABY BABY

WHY BABIES?

Babies will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.”

LOVENFASHION

READY ladies???

2010 is an amazing year for high-Fashion...

yes, "WOW" is the word.

*This Black and Blue long evening grown is designed by no other than Christian Siriano(winer from Project Runway) love love love him.

- Alexander Mcqueen-

-Versace Collection

FENDI Spring 2010

"Don't wait...get them, fashion LOVERS"...

SIMPLY THE BEAUTY

Sometimes, we all wonder if this's true!...

A good face is a letter of a recommendation?

Well, I say... it's NOT

ALWAYS but it's possible because beauty seem to captures people's attention 75% most of the time.
*I do believe that if eyes were made for seeing, then beauty is its own excuse for being.*
_Nevertheless, i was born in south VietNam. Growing up, i always think WOMEN are the most beautiful thing on earth...

_However, ASIAN WOMEN are simply the most nature, beautiful women of all races because of the smoothness of their skins. Their bones strutured and most of all, the black silky of their hair.

***MAYBE THIS FACT WILL HELP***

beauty definition
beauty (byo̵̅o̅t′ē)
noun pl. beauties -·ties

1-the quality attributed to whatever pleases or satisfies the senses or mind, as by line, color, form, texture, proportion, rhythmic motion, tone, etc., or by behavior, attitude, etc.
2-a thing having this quality
3-good looks
4-a very good-looking woman
5-any very attractive feature

TeChNoLoGY GeNeraTioN

To ME, The future ain't what it used to be, in a good way...


Therefore, I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. And do not forget and we must realize if it weren't for Edison, we're still be watching TV by candlelight?


Generation after generation, technology has change our life because just to know that One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men...


Nevertheless, Robots take a major role of today's world!
***Robots To Replace Today's Human Companions?***

Toshiba just unveiled its new robot, ApriAttenda, which can talk with its owners as well as follow the owners around by recognizing their voice and/or appearance in a crowd of people. The robot, as per Toshiba, brings us closer to the times when machines (and ApriAttenda looks super cute!) will function as our “life support partners”, by caring for the elderly and babysitting the children.Consider: You don't need to take a robot for a walk in the park, or pick up his poop. You don't need to worry about leaving your robot alone when you go on a trip.

Seriously, so many people already are socializing through machines nowadays that I won't be surprised if some of them shut out the real world completely when robotic life support partners become available (and good enough). Lots of people spend hours writing their blogs and interacting with people in their online social networks -- people they'd never met and will never meet.

Robots could, potentially, displace even more real-world interaction. After all, unlike real people, cats and dogs, they will always be agreable, and they will never scratch or bite you

NatuRE-N-Its BeauTY

Each season has its own wonder, it's own special place, and purpose in the pattern of creation.
Be a gentle friend to trees and they will give you back beauty, cool and fragrant shade, and many birds, singing.
Few sunrises are greeted as eagerly as those viewed through the eyes of love.
Each season has its joys to treasure, to lift one's spirits and bring us pleasure.

All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within. - Horace Friess

Sometimes, I just like to sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon the verdant green hills....It is the most perfect refreshment.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.